Professor: "Let's fastforward through the R-rated portion"
Student: "Do we have to?
"How do I get him to stop talking to me?"
"Tell him fuck off"
"Fuck off please?"
I was going to a website the other day you have to be 18 or older to enter, and...
I miss the days where anything technological could be fixed simply by blowing on it. Those days are no more. Now, there are Help lines to call and you have to call within the hours on the website and then they have you restart it, reset it, they dick around with it from their little command center, and then it’s fixed. I miss the days of dust preventing something from working and a little...
The Kardashian-Humpfries Wedding Extravaganza
The mom, Kris, wore a floor length white dress (which I think is entirely inappropriate). The sisters, Kourtney, Khloé, Kendall, and Kylie wore floor length white dresses (still think it’s inappropriate. I’d be pissed). Kim wore $10 million worth of diamonds. Wolfgang Puck catered. Khloé encouraged the guests “Shake your tits!” Robin Thicke and Earth, Wind & Fire...
Behind the wheel, you hate pedestrians. HATE ‘em. You’re in a car, and frankly, you have somewhere to be. They’re at a crosswalk where there’s no stoplight, so you legally have to stop and let them cross. It’s as if they do this solely to piss you off. It’s as if they know you’re coming and are in a rush, so they plan to cross the street right when you...
The Evolution of Intelligence
I was recently discussing with someone how drastically so much as the concept of “intelligence” has changed over the last century, and even over the last ten years. Intelligence used to be generally defined as how much information a person knew off hand. This was a direct correlation to how much education they had had, and henceforth, how much they studied and read. It also included...
Alan: What's with him?
Charlie: If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he got laid last night.
When somebody tells me "Don't look"